20 Aug 2017

18th August 2017 Denmark's monsoon season.

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Friday 18th 62F, 17C, windy with a heavy overcast. Last night's heavy rain is likely to be repeated this afternoon.Walked to the village under grey skies. A scruffy immature blackbird was sitting on the ridge of an old barn. It was calling at intervals and being answered, presumably by a parent, in a nearby tree. The effect was much like a sonic game of table tennis which was still going on when I passed on the way back home. A flock of some 30 swallows were taking it in turns to rest on a cottage roof. Or flying off to do a circuit of the lawn beside the church pond. The forecast now looks like three days of continuous rain! I waited for rain while I hacked at the hedges but still it didn't rain. I could easily have ridden my trike to the shops instead of taking the car.

Saturday 19th 55-65F, 13-18C, bright and breezy but cloudy. Another day of rain forecast. Staff at two UK branches of McSlobs are going on strike over wages and hours. The UN is expected to present humanitarian medals for lives saved by their selfless actions.  Yesterday, while I was out, I saw at least 6 people who had made themselves severely handicapped by overeating. Their huge thighs had grown so extremely bulky that they could no longer walk normally. But had to rock their vast bulk from side to side to make any forward progress. And there on the checkout belt, as always,  was the reason for their near spherical forms.

Walked to the woods and back via the prairie track in cool but bright sunshine. A rather damp fox was sitting bolt upright ten yards out from the forest edge. Despite being at the limit of my zoom it bolted as soon as I took out my camera. As I turned to retrace my steps a huge V-shaped cloud approached wearing navy blue knickers. Though it still remained dry.

A simple message for simple people.

On my ride it rained for quarter of an hour but I couldn't be bothered to stop to get out my sweaty X- Rage rain jacket from the giant new saddlebag. Eventually it stopped raining and I dried out. They were holding an annual fly-fishing contest on the new puddles on the recently resurfaced roads. Though I doubt there were many fish to be had with the traffic ploughing through the standing water at twice the legal speed limit. Only 15 miles but going quite well despite the wind.

Sunday 20th 57F, 14C, cloudy and breezy with rain. More rain forecast. I wonder if you can be banned from cycling? The driving license is a basic human right and cannot be removed even after repeated acts of homicidal lunacy. There is no cycling license to take away. Which leaves fines or prison. I'd certainly suggests that any bicycle without brakes and used on the road, is automatically confiscated and the rider made to watch while it is publicly crushed by a road roller. A scrap yard crusher has no obvious connection to the road so would be too lenient. What about a massive ankle bracelet? That would limit their ability to ride fixed.Though this would not be fair to cyclists because even drunken mass vehicular murderers don't suffer such sanctions.

Despite the protestations of road safety researchers, Denmark's government is putting up speed limits. The university professors specializing in road safety say that higher speed will lead to more deaths and injuries. Needless to say the consequences of increased global warming, through CO2 increases from higher fuel consumption, are being totally ignored by an increasingly right wing, coalition government.

The problem is that speeding drivers always add at least 20mph to every speed limit. Being completely insane they also want to be able to use their phones for texting and watching porn while driving at that illegal speed. They want to be adjusting their radios or music players. They also want to be putting on their makeup [all at the same time] and that is only the men.

These same men cannot even corner at 20mph on local blind corners in their luxury, 2-seater "sports" cars without overshooting into the opposite lane. They then accelerate up to an illegal speed along the following straight to show just how macho they are. Before braking hard and then making exactly the same stupid error on the very next corner. They do this every bløødy morning! Week after week after week!

Q. What do they call speed limit signs in Denmark?

A. Typos.

Boom-boom?

Suit yourselves.

My morning walk was delayed by a shower just as I had accumulated my "vital necessities" and was waiting patiently at the tradesman's entrance.  It all went downhill from then on and it was soon morning coffee time. Finally I risked a window between towering masses of mashed potato. [Technical term for Cumulus.] Many of the cloud edges were badly frayed by high winds as they all scudded over in seemingly random directions.

I was passed by two groups of motorcyclists with a predominance of BMWs, both old and new.

It felt rather warm as I walked briskly back from my self-appointed goal. To suffer yet another near death experience as another drooling fuckwit moron clipped the inside verge on a blind corner at high speed. Just to prove, for the umpteenth time today, that he is totally unfit to drive on the grounds of inadequate mental capacity.

What if I had been the girl who occasionally walks her baby along this road in its pushchair? Well, of course, that would have been just another unfortunate accident amongst millions of unfortunate accidents, day in and day out, decade after decade, century after century. Fortunately, for me, I am pretty nimble on my feet and quickly jumped into the grass verge to avoid certain death. Nothing to see here! Move along please!

Chocolate box deer at full zoom and then the image cropped for even more enjoyable fuzziness. Anyone would immediately think they were absolute proof of UFØs, Aliens 👽 or Bigfeet 😼 [Que?] on YouTube, wouldn't they?

Then, just as I reached home the next shower arrived accompanied by the black-out curtains. The day was punctuated by absolutely torrential showers. With no particular need for a ride today I [sensibly] stayed at home. Though I am sure my Overboard [saddle]bag would have kept me dry unfortunately I can't easily fit into it. Am I having fun yet? More to the point: Are you?


Click on any image for an enlargement. 
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