29 May 2017

29th May 2017 Killers: Imortality or anonymity?

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Monday 29th 55F, 13C, overcast, patchy, distant mist and breezy. Hopefully the heatwave is over.

My recent near miss, as a pedestrian, by a blond using her phone while driving, was brought home by a UK statistic on the BBC News website: In 2015, in the UK alone, 22 people died and 99 were seriously injured by drivers using mobile phones. 

That is a greater number than those injured by the ugly, retarded fuckwit[s] who pointlessly blew up children at a teenage pop concert in Manchester. Why are terrorists so utterly terrified of little girls? Is it a desire for revenge because of some perceived sleight over their own ugliness, by their [culturally inferior] sister? Perhaps I should have put that in words of no more than two syllables? Whatever.

Who are the real terrorists? Raving lunatics hoping for immortality? Or raving lunatics hoping for anonymity? The fine in the UK for mobile phone use, behind the wheel, is a measly £200. A mere fraction of the cost of many mobile phones. It seems the politicooze wouldn't want to lose votes at the election by making weapons-grade, mobile phone ownership an expensive crime. 

How much does the UK spend, per year, watching ugly, retarded fuckwits planning the serial murder of little girls? How does that compare with their expenditure on catching mobile phone users behind the wheel? Do they flood the streets with high visibility, armed policemen every time a deranged phone user kills? Just asking. 

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-40079382 [Killers]

The traffic was remarkably light on my walk. There was a prickling dampness on the air but no visible sign of precipitation. Skylarks rose and fell like their delightful songs. They could teach the repetitive chaffinches a thing or two. Gaudy goldfinches moved about in small groups collecting nesting material. Nature is at its softest and fluffiest at the moment. Even the Japanese Knotweed looks half decent at this time of year. If, that is, you can ignore the tangle of bare, brown stalks from last year.

Copenhagen is getting special cycle signs to warn cycle path users of traffic congestion, alternative routes and other important information. Mid afternoon ride to the shops returning heavily laden. It never did brighten up as promised and only just scraped over a nicely comfortable 60F, 15C. 8 miles.

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22 May 2017

22nd May 2017 Spring is sprung.

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Monday 22nd 50F, 10C, almost calm, thick mist clearing quickly, bright overcast. Warm sunshine and 68F, 20C expected. The trike is roadworthy again, but am I?

I'm all for a bit of decoration but this roadside tree is not only "well over the top" but stuffed with singing birds. I shall have to dismantle my TZ7 camera again to remove fluff from its sensor. I believe the zoom lens sucks in dirt during its outward movements.

Is there any finer human experience than a rural stroll along the lanes in spring? Every tree furnished with its own singing blackbird. The air alive with all the other small birds as their songs fade off into the distance. Swallows skimming over the crops or swooping again and again over village ponds. Dandelions competing for altitude and abundance on every lawn and verge. My feet grew weary with the sheer burden of burgeoning life and the sticky warmth of hot sunshine on my back. But not from tricycling today. Too busy for a ride.

Tuesday 23rd 54F-64, 12-18C, overcast, with a light breeze. Too busy for a walk or ride. Mostly sunny with a few spots of rain and thunder.

Wednesday 24th 52-66F, 11-19C, heavy cloud and already windy. It turned into a mostly sunny day with gales. Another rest day being busy.

Thursday 25th 54F, 12C, light variable winds, bright but cloudy. Expected to be warm but rather cloudy at times. Bank holiday. Rather than repeat my usual walk to the village I took to the lanes to escape from the traffic. Though even turning off the main road was not without incident. As a real blonde failed to turn away from the pedestrian due to a chronic and debilitating mobile phone habit.

A few yards on my humour was further diminished by the sight of 10 McSlob's full cardboard jacket, weapon's grade, quadruple packaging scattered over several yards of the verge. I paused to turn it into an art form by recording it for posterity. A few yards more and there were 13 more items of clearly marked McSlob's litter! Then 3 more within another few yards. 26 items of litter thanks to one takeaway litter specialist.

I wonder what litter burden McSlob's is responsible for globally? Presumably it takes only one McSlob to dump 26 items within one hundred yards on a quiet rural lane well over 20 miles from any McSlob's outlet. I hear McSlob's will serve anybody. I have the proof in my camera. Another rest day, leaving me hot, aching and tired.

Friday 26th 56-75F, 13-24C, bright but cloudy with light winds. Another warm, dry, sunny day. My early ride found a lack of stock so I had to go on to another village outlet. Delightful ride though a hilly forest. Cool headwind going, warm crosswind coming home. Going well, with lots of climbing out of the saddle. 22 miles.

Another case of an oversized lawn getting away from them. The purple of flowering lilac hedges, in the background, is softened by distance.

Saturday 27th 62-75F, 17-24C, warming rapidly to another hot, dry and sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky. I'm not a hot weather person. Walked up to the woods and back along the marsh. I was wearing shorts so was attacked by all the nettles on the overgrown tracks. Only 6 ducks and a Heron visible on the marsh lake. Plus two hares and a very large Red deer. This vanished into the shrubbery as soon as I raised my camera. Already 71F at 10am. It reached a windy 75F later.

Sunday 28th 67F, 20C, bright, warm and windy with a risk of early showers. The sky to the SW was very dark as I set off for my walk. Glancing back I could see dark curtains of rain falling. I only managed a few hundreds yards before large raindrops started falling. Bringing with them that strange smell of wet roads after hot, dry weather. The temperature has dropped to 61F.


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15 May 2017

15th May 2017 New gloves, please, Nurse!

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Monday 15th 52-66F, 11-19C, calm, bright but overcast. A little overnight rain. More possible, but with sunshine later. Walked down the lanes to find the McLardy's litter zombie has spread its slime trail beyond the main roads.

For those unfamiliar with the bright, acid-yellow carpet this is a field of oil seed rape. It smells rather like it looks. Rather unpleasant [sickly sweet urine] and needs regular spraying and carpet bombing with pig's muck to make it into a very common food stuff additive. After it goes to seed and turns brown it is an impenetrable barrier to walkers. Talking of which, areas of Danish agricultural land are being turned into woods. This is to protect the deep well water supplies of cities from the burden of pesticides trickling ever downwards through the ground. No such luck with our private well. It even kills frogs!

No ride today as I was still busy with my project. It was calm and too warm to work hard and continuously in full sunshine at the height of the afternoon. I had to seek shade for a five minute rest! It was hell out there, but fortunately there were no mad dogs daft enough to be out and about.

Tuesday 16th 51F, 11C, overcast, windy and rain is forecast for all day. It did too! Rest day. The Danish news reports that robotic lawnmowers are doing terrible harm to hedgehogs during the night. The hedgehogs are not afraid of the machines because they do not smell dangerous. Perhaps robotic lawnmowers should not be allowed to run around at night?

Am I the only one who thinks everyone is becoming fat and lazy as a result of avoiding all physical labour? I'm 70 and never use a shopping trolley. I don't need a Zimmer frame with increased carrying capacity. The rain stopped at about 6pm. Too late to get to the shops.

Wednesday 17th 57-73F, 14-23C, heavy overcast with very light winds. An early ride will avoid black, morning coffee. The singing blackbirds never pause for breath around here. A bit like me, I suppose.

Afternoon ride to the shops though the gorgeous beech forest. 73F is hottest day this year with high humidity and bright sunshine. 10 miles.

Thursday 18th 65-73F, 18-23C, bright and breezy start. Walked to the village. We could see 25C, 77F this afternoon with 25mph gusts. It reached 73F, 23C on the house digital thermometer. 75F, 24C on the shed's digital thermometer. Both thermometer sensors are hanging in free air, in deep shade under roof overhangs facing north. No ride today.

Not sharp enough, for you?
It was moving rapidly!
I panned, so that's speed blur!

Friday 19th 57F, 14C, almost calm, overcast. Further warmth and sunshine is threatened. Nature is getting a bit over the top. With foliage bursting out everywhere and far more birds than strictly necessary. The verges are almost waist high in assorted grasses and weeds. All very delightful but ominous of the arrival of the local government's lawnmowers. The coots were absent from the church pond today. Perhaps they were disturbed by the constantly passing traffic. A hot and 'sticky' day with bright sunshine. Busy, so no ride today.

Saturday 20th 52-62F, 11-17C, heavy overcast, cooler with possible showers but brighter later. A cold wind caught me unprepared for the drop in temperature. After the recent 73F "heatwave" all the winter cycling and walking gear was being put away.

It was still cool and windy as I headed off. An early errand gave me a chance for a pleasant cross country ride via the quiet lanes in mostly bright sunshine. After I had finished the last of my shopping the rear gear cable broke inside the Chorus 11 speed lever. The chain dropped onto the smallest cog and promptly wrapped itself immovably into a tight figure of eight around the crank.

So I was forced to walk the heavily loaded trike home for the last couple of miles. While pulling the errant trike against the almost constant traffic by the scruff of its tri-bar extensions. I really can't remember the last time I had to walk a trike. It was hugely lucky that I wasn't miles from home. Now I'll have to search for another gear cable amongst the detritus in the shed. 23 miles.

Sunday 21st 60-68F, 16-20C, bright and breezy. In breaking news: Danish farmers are being offered crisis psychological help after certain pesticides were banned from being added to their children's corn flakes.

https://www.dr.dk/nyheder/regionale/oestjylland/landmaend-faar-tilbud-om-krisehjaelp-efter-pesticidforbud

I found a new Campag cable in the trike shed after struggling to get the overlong nipple, of the broken cable, out of the side of the Chorus lever. The lever had to come off the 'bars to give me access. I am excused upside-down, tricycle surgery on account of my age. Beware of copycat "clones." All cables are not the same! The genuine "Campag Bag labelled" cable has a [very] slightly smaller, shorter and more rounded nipple. The rapid deterioration, without prior warning, of the older cable may well have been the cause of my problems. [Well, all right then, not all of them.] Moving swiftly on: I will probably have to take the crank off to "unscrew" the tangled chain! New surgical gloves, please, Nurse!

Removing the crank and rotating it backwards soon released the chain. Though not without some obvious cosmetic damage to the crank's shiny aluminium finish. I replaced the rear gear cable and was instantly rewarded with excellent indexing once the slack had been taken up. Proof of my optimism will have to wait for a ride. 

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14 May 2017

13th May 2017 Chaos to theright.. chaos to the left..

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Saturday 13th 50-66F, 10-19C, light breeze, heavy grey skies with lighter splodges. I hope that's not too technical for you? Walked to the village. You coots on the far pond but still none on the church pond. Tiny warblers blasting out their songs above the roar of traffic.

My ride was totally chaotic. Every driver was completely ignoring every speed limit. Crap stock at what pretends to be a builder's merchant. Loads of stuff not in stock in the supermarkets. Quarter of an hour at the supermarket checkout because the imported junk on the endless junk shelves wasn't properly bar coded. So every single item threw up an error. "Staff member to the checkout!" Perhaps they should be required, by law, to give away free takeaways to waiting customers? Just in case they get peckish.

How come drinkers of RedBullshit never have enough energy to take their bløødy cans home? Perhaps they are exhausted from the weight of all the hype? I do hope their sponsored "athletes" can afford the dental care required following a regular acid mouth wash! 

The Danish Post Office confirmed for the umpteenth time why it is stony broke. Five days to deliver a packet and then they don't bother [again] to send me an SMS. So I can't use their 20 digit number on my phone screen at the supermarket, packet collection counter. The number arrived by email late morning on my home PC long after I had left home without a quill, vellum or blotter to my name. Couldn't they have sent a runner, with a cleft stick, after me instead?

My mobile phone service provider has sent me a message about their service of which I can only read the first four lines. The last two words were: "We recommend.....?" Aaargghhh!??! 16 miles.

Now I have to go back out to collect the packet with the numbers written longhand on a long piece of damp paper. Well, it will be damp from sweat by the time I get back there! Grrr! Another 7 miles in default Tricyling Hero mode for 23 miles in total @ 64F, entirely with bare knees. Some young bloke caught me on his sit-up-and-beg bike. I thought he was another 'Teslaboy' but he was just fitter than I was. He was wearing a rucksack too! Perhaps that was where he kept his batteries?

Sunday 14th 52-65F, 11-18C, 100 yard mist, thinning slowly and dead calm. We could see 20C, 68F today with a threat of sunshine. Mind you, they said two days of rain and it didn't. Perhaps meteorology should be treated as a fringe "science" like astrology? Walked my usual loop up the woods. Saw one deer and one hare. It is amazing the drama that can unfold in the corner of a field. Two crows mobbed a buzzard which was minding its own business. It took off and upset a Kestrel in a hedge. Suddenly there were birds going in all directions. You never heard such a racket!

A male pheasant was meditating on the verge as I approached home. I thought I'd better cross the road in case it panicked and became entangled in the occasional traffic. It couldn't make its mind up what to do but eventually disappeared into the hedge. No doubt the story will be recounted for generations of pheasants to come. It is warm and sticky at 15C but the mist has almost cleared now at 10.15 with the sun breaking through. It ought to be a good day for a ride.. But not when one is too busy. It was a gorgeous afternoon with warm sunshine and hardly any wind in our sheltered garden.

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8 May 2017

8th May 2017 Conditions variable.

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Monday 8th 45F, 7C, heavy overcast, northerly gales. Expected to brighten later but only a slow reduction in wind speeds. A walk to the village wrapped up against the cold wind. I wore my safety glasses for greatly improved comfort. A jackdaw was so engrossed in pecking at the verge that we walked right up to each other. I wasn't until I stopped that it noticed me and took off. To be whipped away by the roaring wind right across the nearest field. Gulls too, were being tossed around the sky as they tried to make headway to nowhere in particular.

Okay, hands up all those who didn't notice the hare, center stage? Sometimes I don't know why I bother. Ego the size of planet and ...

Tuesday 9th 32-46F, 0-8C, white frost on the grass, bright sunshine and dead calm. Winds lighter today but showers or rain likely for much of the day and tomorrow. I woke in a panic at at 6 am. Having dreamt that I crashed my trike by trying to ride down a steep field with long grass. I was probably processing my recent topple under a similar situation.

Before that I had been dreaming that I had two long, exposed trays of precious junk on my trike's crossbar. I had to negotiate double doors in a large glasshouse with spring closers and full of people working on both sides of the building. This might suggest I feel exposed to view on and off my trike and probably has something to do with keeping shopping safe while wearing my very obvious cycling gear. The trays being an analogue for bags full of fragile good or perishables. The doors are obviously the supermarket entrances and exits which must be managed while heavily encumbered at each shopping outlet.

Near collisions are regular occurrences at the highly undisciplined, two-way portals with self opening glass doors. Many supermarkets have a certain flow which is ridiculously impeded by placing the baskets on the wrong side of the entrance. So that those exiting must always cross the path of new entrants. Add in all the shopping trolleys and chaos inevitably ensues.

The strange thing is, that despite the vast amount of time and distance I have spent on the trike, I don't remember having dreamt about tricycling very much in the past. Perhaps the subject matter was simply purged with each new waking?

A short walk to free up the aches and pains and then another [busy] day without tricycling. I see the McLardy's slob is back. The verges are [literally] littered with copyrighted packaging designed for the obese and partially sighted.

Wednesday 10th  42F, 6C, dark grey but calm. Rain expected all day. Yesterday's promised rain didn't really happen. Though today's did. It was still spitting as I left late afternoon for a short ride to the shops. Fortunately the roads were mostly dry. Only 7 miles.

Thursday 11th 46-54F, 8-12C, calm start but grey. A short walk to untie knotted muscles. Becoming bright and sunny later with a gentle breeze. A busy day, doing nothing of import, tricycle-wise.

The McLardy's polka dot bag for those who compete to throw their litter away on hills. The Danish writing says "Food with More." Isn't that a contradiction in terms? Or even false advertising? Perhaps they were talking about the optional sauce, trans-fatty acids, salt and sugar content? The bag reminds me of medical supplies. Perhaps this is an ironic hint at the surgery required by the chronically obese? 

Friday 12th 45F, 7C, windy but bright. Rain expected later. It is a bank holiday today but the supermarkets are usually open but not for me. I was allowed out for a walk but only on a short rope. I have never seen so many birds of all varieties. The gales seemed to be blowing them out of the trees and hedges. The Gold finches have arrived in large numbers. A Black cap in the garden and warblers in the bushes. A Kestrel keeps visiting the garden looking for a snack. Feathers littered the drive earlier this week.

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5 May 2017

5th May 2017 More gales?

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Friday 5th 48-53F, 9-12C, bright but cloudy and already windy from the north. The forecast rain doesn't look quite so threatening today. A walk along the lanes and back. I was passed by a lady cyclist with a dog running alongside on a lead. A common enough sight in Denmark but not one I can remember seeing in Gravely Blighted. Was I ever there?

The image is of an exhausted, or perhaps chilled, Orange tip butterfly resting on an equally tired, daffodil head. It refused to let go as The Head Gardener turned the flower for me to get a better shot.

We have reached 14.00pm without any rain but there was a horribly cold, northerly wind as I worked on my building project in the garden. No ride today.

I was just reading a story on the BBC News website. It seems 40,000 real people in the UK die prematurely each year as a result of traffic pollution. After losing several court cases the UK government is finally being forced to talk about scrapping a few thousand diesel cars and funding the owner's purchase of an electric car to the tune of £8k. The danger is that the UK government  will never match their bullshit empty promises at the Paris climate summit. Another story exposes their bullshit empty promises on reducing CO2 levels by 2020. They have just savagely cut the payments for solar electric panel generation while subsidizing filthy diesel generation for nearly £200 million! Job losses in the UK solar industry are expected to reach 20,000.

Denmark too has corridors of illegal levels of traffic pollution and by coincidence, it too, is cutting solar panel generation payments to owners. These corridors of filthy air run along motorways and main roads snaking through many towns and cities. Sadly, only Bill Gates could afford to save up for an electric car in Denmark with present Danish import taxation on electric vehicles.

Electric Car Sales In Denmark Plummet After Change in Tax Policy - Gas 2

Hands up those who remember government tax cuts on diesel fuel to get people to swap to diesel from petrol? Hands up those who read all the adverts for "chip tuning" to return the diesel models back to sports petrol performance and presumably return their pollution to chronic diesel levels? Hands up those who have spotted all the 6-axle, local supermarket delivery, articulated lorries blocking the roads as they reverse into the tiny supermarket car parks? Was the UK government really hoping to save on pensions and health care by killing off 40,000 people a year? Do they have a "Break Even" box in their human survival V costs spreadsheets? It does make you wonder. 😉

Air quality: Diesel scrappage scheme being considered - BBC News

Saturday 6th 47F, 8C, heavy overcast, calm. Expected to be dry with increasing brightness later and light winds. Having read the news I can't think of a single thing to complain about. This is unusual and does not mean I'm not monitoring the situation.

A walk to the woods and back along the road was all the more enjoyable for the stillness. Birdsong could be heard way off into the distance. The local wind turbines were trying to rotate very slowly but they must have run out of coal again since the US put a ban on North Korean imports. Talking of death and destruction; I saw a dead hare, a Wood pigeon and a Blackbird this morning. Not in the same place so they can't have collided in the gales. There were several living hares though to compensate for the tragic loss. They tend to look rather gingery at this time of year. Presumably a response to bare earth. A solitary cat was hunting along the field track but vanished into the crop out of guilt when it saw me approaching.

Late morning ride to more distant shops. Returning almost empty handed due to a lack of stock of six items. Going quite well if a bit breathless. Doing a  lot of climbing out of the saddle. Just the hint of an easterly breeze and weak sunshine. 20 hilly miles.

Sunday 7th 50-66F!, 10-19C! almost calm with bright sunshine. Yesterday was quite warm but today should be warmer but cloudier. A walk down to the village to take a peek at the coots. Only one visible. The other sitting on eggs out of sight?

After early coffee I rode north with just a hint of a tailwind. First ride this year wearing just bibs, short sleeved jersey and summer MTB shoes. Going well with lots of climbing out of the saddle. Loads of cyclists out training in various groups and solo. More of headwind coming back home. The countryside is looking gorgeous with fresh new beech leaves and bright oil seed rape. I even manged to remember to eat my muesli choccy bar and drink my small box of pure apple juice. Shopping for 3 liters of organic milk and an organic cucumber ten miles from home. Becoming a little tired towards the end due to a lack of miles in my legs. Or overdoing the building work! Perhaps it was helping? I wouldn't be surprised. 35 miles. Warmest day this year so far.


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1 May 2017

1st May 2017 Regaling you with gales.

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Monday 1st May 46-54F, 8-12C, bright sunshine with gales. Gusts to 20m/s or 45mph are forecast for today and tomorrow on a 20mph base. Walked up to the woods via the marsh. The Grebe was still there, in the distance, but dived and did not visibly return to the surface. The brilliant sunlight on the water hid any real detail in the bird other than a white face and cheeks, a dark head and possibly a red neck.

After seeing a single Swallow last week there were half a dozen bombing about all over the lake. Walked back into the sun with my eyes watering in the gusty wind. At least I caught up with a few more photographs to litter my monologue.

With the fierce gusts and continued forced labour I safely avoided a ride today.  Even working hard behind a large shed it was windy enough to be quite chilly at times.

Tuesday 2nd 44F, 7C, bright and windy from the east again. Yesterday's gales are about to be repeated. Enjoyed an hour and three quarter walk up to the woods and back along the marsh going anticlockwise.

Upset four geese on the lake which took off making an enormous racket. House martins were completing in extreme acrobatics over the lake with the Swallows. The distinctive white patch on the Martin's rump is the easiest indicator when they are moving so incredibly fast. They seem to have slightly more curved wing shape as well as the V-notched tail.

Saw half a dozen hares, here and there, four deer and umpteen birds. The air is full of birdsong again. Including the sweet tinkle of a pretty Robin high in a tree in the woods. Several Thrushes were practicing their mellifluous craft. Not quite as windy as yesterday early on. I wore a cheap pair of wraparound, cycling sunglasses which made it far more comfortable. Though it makes using the binoculars rather more difficult even with the eye-caps rolled right down.

Gales and exhaustion do not a happy tricyclist make. No ride today.

Wednesday 3rd 47-56F, 8-13C, breezy from the east with mixed cloud cover. The forecast is for more cloud but lower winds. [Only 30mph gusts instead of the 45mph of the last two days.] Short brisk walk without incident except for the convoy of pig's muck carrying tankers. Another day of rock wrestling, digging gravel and pretending to be a young weight lifter. I'm a martyr to gravity. No ride today.

Thursday 4th 44-54F, 7-12C, very cloudy and already windy from the north east. Trend expected to continue. Danish billionaires must be getting ready for delivery of their Tesla Model 3s thanks to tax cuts for the rich. The price of all electric cars is multiplied by Danish  car import taxes so [literally] nobody buys them. Least of all those left without any social support after failing to find a job within a two year window. Homelessness in the big cities is "going through the roof." As is mental illness from the stress of poverty or impending poverty. Needles to say the cash-strapped, mental health services cannot remotely cope, with very long waiting times.

The minister responsible wanted to close the pool for demolition of empty and unfit homes. Perhaps hoping to revive the stone dead and long buried, rural housing market. One in four homes stands empty and ready to fall down in some areas. Years often pass without a single house sale.

Those with enough funds have no need to buy a particular home. They just wait until the estate agent's "For Sale" signs to fade to illegibility and the forced auction inevitably comes around. Then they can buy the same house for absolute peanuts. The main problem is waiting for several pointless years for the auction to arrive. Benign socialism and mass consumption of antidepressants are alive and well in Denmark.

Another news story was about the East European lorries with bypasses on their exhaust cleaners to save expense. They produce 20 times more soot particles. Nice! Walked to the village under grey skies with rather a cold wind. The Coots on the church pond still seem unaware of the birds and bees. A local female blackbird is overdosing on something! She keep spreading nesting material all over the place in the garden. My horizontally stored ladders are lined for much of their length with nesting material. With a "proper" nest sitting incongruously on one end. A bit like having a hall carpet [runner] I suppose, but rather vulnerable to overview and no real shelter.  Perhaps the 'runner' is intended to be a landing strip? Nah. The ladder's rungs would require a slalom approach. No sign of eggs yet. The bird is probably just practicing and soon we'll find a palatial nest with <cough> wings and a conservatory.

Short afternoon ride to the shops but still with strong winds. Only 7 miles. This constant roaring wind is boring!


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